Ever wondered what kind of wedding planning mistakes professional wedding planners see couples make aaaall the time? I did, too! So this week we asked Melina Adelaide, Director & Wedding Organiser at Weddings by MaxiMy, for her expertise on the common traps she sees soonlyweds fall into as they make preparations for their special days.
Planning a wedding can be a challenging task. It’s a major undertaking indeed, and can be so overwhelming that it is quite easy to make mistakes which can cause you big headaches later! Let’s have a look at some of the most common wedding mistakes that I have seen as a wedding planner, and learn how to avoid them while planning your own special day.
Mistake # 1: Not setting a realistic budget
Money can be a cause of distress at the best of times, and can turn into a major problem in a wedding situation!As a very special event for the bride and the groom to share with their loved ones, emotions are running high. Of course, there can be a tendency to go overboard with the spending to make that special day spectacular. It is not uncommon for couples to just throw costs out the window, and wind up starting a new life together thousands of dollars in debt. That’s why it is vital to set a realistic budget and stick to it. Use your budget as a tool to figure out what you can cut, what you can save and where other income might come from. Many couples and parents get so stressed out over the cost of the wedding that they completely lose sight of the joy and excitement of the time. Not only will budgeting help you afford your wedding, but it’s an important skill for your married life as you merge your finances.
Planning a wedding can be quite overwhelming. Until you’ve planned one, you have no idea of the number of choices there are and decisions you will need to make… and the great emotional turmoil that can be attached to many of them. You can easily get lost in the amount of work that is involved that you lose sight of the most important goal: it’s a celebration! It’s supposed to be fun. Make sure you take time out from your busy schedule to enjoy your fiancé’s company. Plan your tasks effectively. Keep a realistic checklist and you’ll be on top of things. If it all gets too much, wedding planners are just a phone call away, and you will be amazed at the range of services they offer. They are the experts, who will be more than happy to give you some advice and steer you back on track in no time. Also, during planning, save your sanity by designating one night a week as wedding-free. Your fiancé will be psyched to see that the girl he fell in love with still lives there, and you’ll appreciate the breather yourself!
Mistake # 3: Not knowing how to get your groom involved
We know it’s not the Stone Age, and there are plenty of guys out there who want to see their wedding as an event that reflects their style, too. Have a serious talk to your groom early on in the planning and get a concrete idea of his interest in the various details. You need to come to an agreement on what tasks he wants to be involved in or responsible for, and which you will handle. Be aware there may be a limit to your fiancé’s ability to cope with an infinite array of invitation choices. You definitely don’t want to drag him into decisions he has no interest in. And who knows? Left to his own devices, your fiancé might just surprise you with some great and innovative ideas.
Having a timeline is of paramount importance in getting your wedding day flowing effortlessly. Get realistic time estimates for each activity and segment of the day… and add some extra time just in case. The most common mistakes I have seen are not allowing enough time to get ready, and totally forgetting traveling time. Honestly, it takes longer than five minutes for the girls to get into the limo! Remember spare some time to rearrange dresses, flowers, and also toilet breaks. If you fall behind schedule, there is no catching up. Your reception usually must end at a contracted time, so make the most of it. Get your MC to keep an eye on the smooth running of the event. Most importantly, take time to relax and enjoy your party!
Mistake # 5: A lack of personality
The number one biggest mistake I see is a wedding devoid of the couple’s personality. There are two people whose personalities are almost as important as the couple getting married: the ceremony officiate and the MC at the reception. Finding the right person to marry you is an important decision. They will indeed have a huge influence on the tone of the ceremony. You’ll want to make sure that you find someone who is willing to perform the kind of ceremony you are envisioning. By the same token, if your DJ is super cheesy, you’re going to be doing the chicken dance all night long! Ensure your DJ gets to know your musical tastes and your vision for an amazing party, so that the tunes and atmosphere are extensions of you and your groom. Make sure that your personalities mesh well with these two people, and that you feel listened to and respected. This is the most important day of your life – it should reflect your uniqueness.
Many problems are caused by conflicting expectations. Clear communication is important throughout the entire wedding planning process. Whether you are speaking with family, friends or wedding professionals, express your desires and expectations clearly. Remember, it is not what is said and done, as much as it is how it is said and done. Feelings can be hurt and there can be lifelong ramifications depending on how things are handled. Attempting to separate fantasy from reality will help minimize the source of many problems and is the key to defining your own expectations. For example, do not assume that your wedding party knows what is expected of them. Some of them may have been in numerous weddings and think they know the “routine”. However, never assume anyone knows what is expected of them. A list of wedding responsibilities is a good starting place in determining your own expectations of your wedding party.
Mistake # 7: Being inconsiderate
Yes, it’s your wedding, and your special day. But you need to take other people into consideration as well. After all, a good host puts others needs front and centre. Think about what you are asking. Is what you need the wedding party to do fair? Have you been clear about your expectations of their level of commitment? Regarding your guests: do guests know what to expect? Will they be forced to stand around for over an hour while you take pictures? Will guests be comfortable in the weather or do you need to provide bottles of water, fans or heaters?
Melina Adelaide (right) from Weddings by MaxiMy is your wedding planner specializing in on-the-day coordination, to ensure you are relaxed and enjoying every special moment of your day.